Lent Day 24: Practice

I recently was okayed by my midwife to start exercising again.This was an exciting moment for me because I have become antsy sitting on the couch and "taking it easy." So, I went out for a longer walk/jog to try and warm up my running muscles. Boy was it hard. Even though I walked more than I jogged, I could tell how lethargic my muscles in my legs had become.

I am usually a perfectionist and I am hard on myself. I can get down on myself for not keeping up with schedules, for not getting as much done as I thought I should, and for needing to walk during a run. However, this "run" was different. I was well aware that my ligaments would be weak, that my legs would be out of shape, that my lung capacity might not be what it used to, that overall my body had taken a beating through a pregnancy that involved high blood pressure and lots of rest instead of being able to keep my body in shape. And somehow I had quite a bit of mercy on myself. I congratulated myself on the short bursts of energy. I listened to my body and took breaks when I needed to to let my ligaments and leg muscles rest. I was well aware of the fact that I did not want to over work something before it was ready and harm my body in some way.

As I ran I listened to Tim Timmons. His song "You Remain" came on as I encouraged myself and congratulated myself on getting out, in the rain no less, to get some fresh air and exercise.  Part of the lyrics are below:

"You Remain"

I'd be lying
If I said I wasn't tired of trying
And now I'm down to my last excuse
So here I am waiting for You

When I take the wheel and everything starts falling apart
I start to wander off the road that leads to Your heart
Still there You are

In the broken, when I'm losing my way
When I'm lost in all the doubt and the shame
You remain, You remain
.
.
.
I've tried to do this now for so long on my own
You'd think I've figured this whole thing out some how
But just when I think I can fall faster further away
I turn around and there You are


I realized that my body is going to need practice to get back on track. It will take time, patience and consistency. I will have to be easy on myself and ease back in to an exercise regime. Hopefully I will get back to where I was before my pregnancy at some point, but I won't rush myself to get there.

The same is true of my spiritual life. It takes practice to build up those spiritual muscles. I "start to wander off the road that leads to [God's heart]" but he is patient with me and I must be patient with myself as well. Grace, mercy and patience will help me to be open to practice my spiritual muscles so that I can grow closer to God and firmer in my faith.